AGE 37, single
Breast cancer Aggressive Ductal Carcinoma
After over 15 years of working as an entertainer/professional dancer, and Certified Pilates instructor helping others in Physical Therapy, the last thing I expected was to hear the doctors words that I have aggressive breast ductal carcinoma. If you could only imagine the blur that happens through your mind and numbness in your body. I could not believe it! It didn’t make sense at all! I had never smoked, hated the idea of drugs in my body, ate healthy, exercised all the time, felt positive. How in the world did this remotely make sense? Well, here’s the deal. It doesn’t. But my test for the DNA Brac gene did. Unfortunately I tested positive. Within a week I was seeing more doctors than I had in my whole life. I didn’t even hardly get sick! And…the rollercoaster began. I had NO idea what was to entail in my near future and it has been the hardest challenge thus far.
I had two biopsies confirming I had cancer and within a week my world came to a halt. I had to stop training for a dream in stunts, and train for an operation instead. Oct. 19, 2011 I had a mastectomy and found myself feeling like an alien with tubes coming out of my body healing for the next month and half. After continual meetings with surgeons, oncologists, radiologists, regular physician,etc., I learned that I would possibly go through menopause and not be able to have kids when I go through chemo. I am 36 and not yet married. Do you know how many supporters there seem to be for either young cancer or beyond childbearing years but not much for those whose are in the middle? I was faced with not only fighting cancer but deciding RIGHT NOW if I would be okay with not ever having kids. The answer was…NO. So with absolutely no funds, I then found myself( in what I call Phase 2) saving my eggs. I had intense work in trying to find funding. I spent the next two months injecting myself with needles and hormones to save the eggs. Unfortunately I ended up having to do it twice because after the first time it failed. I found my self devastated after waking up with the doctor telling me there were no eggs and faced with the idea that I couldn’t have them. He then a couple days later stated that there might have been the possibility that the embryologist discarded my fluid with the eggs in them! Umm, not too funny. That was tough. I really didn’t ever want to do that again, but set my mind on the goal…and THANK GOD! It was a success in round two. Saved 22 eggs on January 16th, 2012 and by January 19th I was in chemotherapy. I am now in what I call Phase 3, chemotherapy. I go through this until August to possibly September 2012 (that’s what they’ve told me) and then radiation after that.\
It has been an emotional challenge, physical challenge, and financial challenge. In fact the financial part is JUST as overwhelming. I am not a type of person to not do my homework…so I have read tons of information, watched movies, talked to others, am doing everything I can. But in order for me to me to survive financially, I have literally had to rely on the kindness of donations. Unfortunately, our “system” of America covers barely half of my overhead needed monthly. I can’t work, and have a mortgage, etc. Medical bills are spilling in and yes, I admit. I get scared. Yet simultaneously I know God and angels, the Universe…they’re watching over me. If there’s anything I know I am, it’s a fighter. My spirit is big, and I feel truly alive. I am not going to let this thing beat me. And I will do everything I can. But like a wise friend said, it’s like the Ying and the Yang. I work hard, and I also need to learn how to let go and trust in receive. Thank you so much if you decide to help and support. I know that you will only be blessed. Inside first with happiness, and outside with a new Don’t Worry Be Happy shirt!